I hope that you are having a wonderful time with your family(ies) wherever you are. It’s the season to celebrate the good, and rejoice over the triumph of the less fortunate things that have happened in your lives. I was going to do a post under Wedding Wednesdays under Christmas weddings, but then I realized that I didn’t really have any friends who would have a wedding at this time of the year that I know of. This post is a bit more personal than my other posts, because I’ll be talking about my life at home and the things I experience.
I’ve wanted to write to pen pals for a long time, but never really had anyone to do it with. Finding pen pals online was not an option because my internet use was limited as a child and throughout high school. I never thought about it until I was on Instagram and started seeing a whole community of snail mailers who keep the art alive. After reading over several pen pal wanted ads, I finally responded to maybe 20 of them. By the end of day one, I had agreed to exchange letters with maybe 8 people. By the end of day two, 14. Tonight? I’m on my 15th. This is my cap for now. It’s already a bit overwhelming thinking about how many people I have to start letters to, but it will be so worth it. I have 5 Stateside, and 10 international now, ranging from ages 16-36. I think there is lots to be learned from people of different ages and from all over the world. Learning is one of my passions, and letter writing will definitely foster that passion. I’ll write more about the letters as time goes on, but I am definitely excited to be making new friends and seeing the world in a different way.
*I am writing this here as a bit of a warning that the rest of this post will be a bit of a downer. If you want to maintain your holiday cheer, I’d like to bid you adieu, and enjoy your time with family and friends.*
It’s been a little bit of a rough week due to family issues. In previous posts I had mentioned that home was a major trigger for me. My mom has control issues and me being a round peg and not fitting into her square box personally is driving her nuts. Her going nuts translates to me having various mood swings and wanting to be alone. The person who patiently suffers through all of this is my dad, and I cannot thank him enough for his support.
Today is my brother’s birthday, and it sucked. He is on parole and may possibly be incarcerated for violating his parole. There are many ways he could have circumnavigated or prevented this instance of violation, but it occurred anyway which will be casting a dour mood on the rest of my holidays mainly because my mom is now uptight and anxious about what will happen to him. He’s the middle child and my mom still babies him because he’s her natural born youngest, and he also did a good job blaming her for most of his troubles. Not everyone who gets incarcerated is guilty, nor are they all innocent, but deep down in your heart when its someone you really know, you know what the truth is. It doesn’t change that I love him, but I am angry at him, and respect him less, for the way he has handled things. It’s a point of contention between our mom and I, but I know she’ll always choose him and that’s alright with me.
If you make the conscious decision to complete an action, take responsibility for the consequences, good or bad. By doing so, you are truly being an adult. When your words say a separate thing from your actions, no matter how mature you think you are, you aren’t. It doesn’t matter if you have mental health issues – somewhere in your head, in your heart, deep within, you know right from wrong. Accept your decisions as your own, and shoulder your responsibility instead of making it someone else’s cross to bear.
Wishing everyone the best from the bottom of my heart,